Operation Bearded Man

Facial Hair Awareness            

            Last Saturday night was an adventure for Lauren and me. We abandon our usual water hole for a different setting. The new setting is a long line slithering down West Grace Street. For about 20 minutes we are stood in front of Strange Matter with the bitter edge hanging in the air. With a quick glance around, Lauren and I realize we might not get in. Thirty extra spots for non ticket holders, only thirty spots to witness a sport that we have been dreaming about. Skip forward from the dramatic antics to three, two, one lift off because we got in. And what happens at Strange Matter does not stay at Strange Matter. Last night ladies and gentleman, Lauren and I attended the 1^st Mid Atlantic Bearded Competition.

            Clutching on to my notebook, Lauren and I entered a world of competition. Our partial guide of the night is Ron. Ron is from Philadelphia who is a contestant number 815 in the full beard category. He broke down the organization and the nature of the contests for us, a bearded contest tutorial. He is a newbie with this contest, just recently began competing since November. There have been many of these contests around the country, in Boston and Austin. It is a tight nit community with beard clubs of different states working and competing together. The local Richmond chapters are The Follicles of the James ‘Stache and Bearded League and The Bearded Beauties of The River City- RVA Whiskerians. But the national scene is still budding, the main stages for these competions are aboard, international contests are held in Germany. The US contests been a baby only been around for five to six years, the big boys are in Europe. The structure of these contests is surprisingly simple: 5 categories, grab a number, strut your stuff, and let the judges decide.

            The contest itself looks like a grungy alternative beauty pageants. Every mother’s worst nightmare or maybe just mine. The stage is littered with PBR and foreign beet cans, Black Label must be from the out of towners. Moments before the contest, Lauren and I took some moments to mingle which in result chatting up John Burgess, one of the judges and reigning National Full Beard Champion, with a beard that reached to his knees. He told us the contests were “always about having a good time and giving back”. This contest was held for the Virginia Food Bank. The contests themselves were a mixture of young and old. A good looking crowd of scuffed up men stared in awe with beard envy. Last night, Richmond looked good, really good. Since costumes were encouraged among contenders, the theatre gloves came out: an extremely attractive lumber jack, a French muscle man, Captain Ahab from Moby Dick, a cowboy, an ultra glamorous drag queen, and many bowties.

            Now I wish it was just Lauren and I and a bunch of bearded men but there were other female admirers. Some women loved beards so much they competed themselves in two categories: “Female Natural Beards” and “Female Creative Beards”. Two female patrons introduced us to Jill, the winner of the “Female Natural Beards”. Jill is a native from Richmond and a member of The Bearded Beauties of The River City. She constructed her beard out of her own hair, hair that she meant to donate to Locks of Love. This lady deserves to win and we were cheering for her the whole night.

         The audience for the contest was treated for exchange for their patience with two performances. An intermission show was put on by the Grotto Dancers, an indie folk duo and a finale show was put on by Billy the Kid and the Southside Boys. The main question for the night was “who is your celebrity beard crush?” and many people offered their favorites. We are happy to report Ryan Gosling was the general answer. There were a few that offered up other celebrities. Heff from the Grotto Dancers response was Gerard Buttler. Good response but take our advice Heff, grow back your beard so we can interview you again. 

            The overall winner for the night with “Best in Show” was Grizzly Stonewall Jackson from Holly City Beard and Mustache Society. For more information about the finalists and the contest itself, check out: http://www.beardleague.org/compete/performing  or the community page on Facebook for The Follicles of the James ‘Stache and Bearded League. The night was an adventure and a lesson. But one thing, I can share when you are at a bar or events carry a notepad with you. People, primarily men, will flock to you like a moth to a flame. The hunt continues my friends.